Traits of a Healthy Marriage

We have all heard that “Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce.” Arguments over the divorce rate continue to be an ongoing debate. Some studies suggest that the divorce rate in the U.S. is declining and that the rates are somewhere between 40-50%. Regardless of the statistics, there clearly are many people struggling to find a way to make marriage work. It may seem that the odds for a successful marriage are not in our favor however with resolve and commitment it is possible to have a long and healthy marriage.

Here are 6 traits of a good marriage

• Accept your partner as they are.  Entering a marriage expecting you can change your spouse is a recipe for disaster.

•  Put your relationship first.  When making big decisions consider how it will affect your partner. You are part of a team now. Don’t make choices that will put undue stress on the relationship.

• Be kind and respectful in your relationship. You won’t always agree with your spouse and at times you will get angry but you can still remain considerate of the other’s feelings. You can focus on criticizing and hurting your partner or you can be kind in expressing your hurt and anger. Kindness is always a quicker path to resolution.

• Don’t keep secrets. You can’t build trust with a partner when secrets are being kept and once trust is lost it’s hard to rebuild.

•  Consider “divorce” a dirty word. Couples who frequently refer to divorce are more focused on their exit strategy and lack the commitment they need to heal and strengthen their marriage.

• Live in the present. You can’t change anything that has happened in the past. It’s important to be forgiving and accepting in order to move forward. Couples who continually dredge up old hurts get stuck in their anger and resentment.