Survival Strategies with Parenting Children with ADHD

• Be Available During Homework Time. Be present and talk through what assignments need to be completed. Once your child begins to work on his assignments, you then can complete the tasks you may have to complete. If your child asks you to leave, consider going to another part of the home, as long as he or she is working on their assignments.

• Increase Physical Activity. Studies suggest a connection between physical activity and increased levels of alertness, mental function and learning. Physical activity increases blood flow to the brain, allowing for increased levels of glucose (brain food) to the brain, while releasing endorphin's, which are shown to improve mood. Encourage your child to bounce a ball or walk around the house while reading aloud from a book. Your child will eventually settle down and be able to focus on their work more easily.

• Use medication. Most children with ADHD are mentally exhausted upon returning home from school. This often poses significant challenge for completing homework. Discuss with your doctor additional options such as, prescribing a medication that is short acting/ quickly absorbed. Children are able to remain focused, complete assignments and recall the material they studied when prescribed medication.

• Arrange the environment. Although the end of the day may be approaching, homework still has to be completed. Getting your child comfortable and reducing interruptions/distractions improves his or her ability to complete homework. Create an inviting work-space free of the TV and cellphone. Have your child sit away from anything that could distract him from completing homework.

• Make it more fun and it will get done. Homework can be difficult and exhausting. The idea of coming home from a long day of school, only to begin the process all over again can be dreadful. Develop a reward system for homework assignments. You can reward your child with additional privileges such as increased television time or a later bedtime on weekends after homework is completed. If your child is studying for a test, turn it into a game of jeopardy or allow him to also ask you questions. Math, Science and English are some of the subjects that tend to tedious for children. Spice it up a bit.

• Periodically take a break. Allow your child a few minutes to rest in between subjects. Don’t expect your child to complete each assignment one right after the other. Consider also working for 20 minutes then allowing for a short break before moving to the next 20 minute segment.    

• Find a tutor. Depending on your schedule, you may find it hard to help your child with assignments. Consider hiring a tutor or locate an after school program where your child has a teacher available for assistance.

• Organize assignments in their appropriate folders.  Have your child place their homework in the designated folder and place it in his schoolbag the night prior. Develop a system with his teacher to ensure that his assignments are being turned in daily. 

Why do Children Lie?

Kids lie for many of the same reasons adults lie. Some of the most common reasons children lie are: 

To get out of trouble.

To avoid punishment
To get others in trouble.
To protect their friends.
To make themselves look better to others.
To avoid embarrassment.
To impress authority figures and gain power in the process.
To receive positive attention.   


Of course, the THINGS children and adults lie about are different. For instance, kids lie about not having broken their parents’ rules or not having disregarded  their parents’ wishes. Adults lie about not having broken laws and not having done things that society regards with disdain. 


Researchers report that repeatedly, in surveys done, parents have rated honesty as the trait they most wanted in their children. They rated honesty above self confidence or good judgment.  This being so, parents are greatly upset when they find that their child has lied to them.

The parent feels betrayed and disrespected and often focuses on that instead of looking for the reason the child lied.  Parents should talk with their children,  as early as possible, regarding   the many reasons why it is important to be honest.  And as the child gets older instead of giving the lecture, it is more effective if the parent asks their child to tell them why it is important to be honest.  In the process of responding with this information, the “no lying” value is reinforced in the child’s mind. 

Another ineffective response to a child lying that parents often use is to play the detective and produce all the evidence they  have to prove that the child is lying.  Even when caught  in the act of a specific misbehavior some children will continue to deny that they did what the parent  actually saw.  That kind of a response from a child usually enrages the parent and the parent never gets to the discussion about the  misbehavior.

For example, if a child lies about having done his/her homework and all of the time is spent discussing the lying, the parent doesn’t find out why the homework hasn’t been done.  The child may need to have some tutoring or the consequence for not doing the homework may need to be changed. 

If a child is lying to classmates about things he/she has achieved, important people the family knows or adventures he/she has experienced, the child may have a low self esteem problem.  Again it would be more important to focus on working to improve the child’s self esteem, than to focus on the child’s lies per se.

In longitudinal studies of children’s lying, a majority of 6 year olds who frequently lie have it socialized out of them by age 7. 

However, another study looking at teens’ lying noted that as children entered their teen years and were trying to gradually gain their independence  by  pushing against their parents’ rules, they lied about a number of insignificant things. The teens reported lying to their parents  about : how they spent their allowance, if they started dating,  what clothes they put on away from the house, what movie they went to and with whom they attended the movie .

Parents, who find their teens lying, again, need to look at the reasons their teen is lying. Once that is determined  parents should address those issues either with more severe consequences or with a teen/parent  discussion looking at expanding the day to day living style choices a teen is capable of making.

Each incidence of lying should be examined independent of others.  Any lying event that involves danger to self or others would, of course, focus first on getting the truth and then looking at the reason for lying.

Generally, no matter what the age of the child, research showed that children lied less often when rewarded for truth telling.  Fear of punishment didn’t appear to be as effective in reducing the lying behavior as rewarding truth telling was.