When Worrying is a Problem

Written by Laura Piuca Hinkes, LCSW 

Everybody worries from time to time. However, when it begins to consume you, lead to avoidance, distract you from important areas in life and inhibit your ability to problem solve, it's time to take some action. People who suffer from chronic worry experience a variety of symptoms, some symptoms include:

• Difficulty concentrating
• Difficulty controlling the worrying
• Muscle tension
• Feeling nervous
• Fatigue
• Restlessness
• Irritability
• Sleep disturbance

Chronic worriers may try to distract themselves or push worrisome thoughts out of their head only to have the worries creep back in. It would be more helpful to learn to postpone worrying. In this strategy you create a “worry period” where you set aside a time (say 20 minutes) and a place for worrying, preferably the same time and place daily. During the day when a worry or anxious thought arises write it down on your worry list and tell yourself you will attend to it later during your worry period. Postponing worrying in this way can help because it interrupts our tendency to dwell on what is worrying us but doesn't have the expectation that we have to suppress these thoughts. 

How often do we spend time worrying about things we have no control over?  You can ask yourself if there is something you can do to solve the problem. If for example, you are worrying about paying bills, brainstorm all the possible solutions. You could call your creditors, cut back on expenses or get a second job. Try to focus on the things you have the power to change rather than those that are beyond your control.

But what about all those things I have no control over? The truth is we have to accept that there is a certain amount of uncertainty in our lives. Dwelling on all the things that could go wrong doesn't make our life more predictable. Do you tend to predict that bad things will happen when there is just as much likelihood that the outcome will be positive or at least neutral?  People who's tendency is to worry all the time tend to have a pessimistic view of their world. If you tend to assume the worst and focus only on the negatives this will increase your worrying and anxiety. You can focus on ways to retrain your thoughts to be more positive. When plagued with a worried thought challenge the thought with these questions:

• What is the evidence that the thought is true? That it is not true?

• Is there a more positive, realistic way of looking at the situation?

• What's the probability that what I'm afraid of will actually happen?

• If the probability is low, what are some more likely outcomes?

• Will worrying about it help?

• If someone else had this worry what would I tell them?

Talking with someone may help you sort out some possible solutions. It can be especially helpful to talk with a counselor who is impartial. Many counselors use Cognitive Behavior Therapy to help individuals see how negative thinking can affect our lives and how they can discover healthier patterns that will decrease their worry and anxiety.